Wednesday, December 17, 2008

All I want for Christmas...

People keep asking me what I want for Christmas and I have such a hard time thinking of an answer. I think this year has taught me so much I have a hard time even thinking of myself right now. I see people complaining about silly things, or stressing out over little things and I wish they would spend more time thinking of how truly blessed they are instead. I am trying very hard to make a conscious effort to do this, and I know it's hard because I am guilty of over thinking just about everything but than I think of the plight of others and feel absolutely ridiculous for even thinking this way. Maybe reading this will help everyone remember.

The first thing that always comes to mind is a very special little boy who has so many challenges in his everyday life, and even though his life is one big mystery I know he was sent to teach the people whose lives he touches to be thankful for everything. I often find myself thinking it isn't fair that he can't live his life like most children his age, and it's not fair that his parents have to ever know what it feels like to have a sick child and on multiple occasions await a phone call that may tell you your son's life will never be a healthy one or worse yet that his life will be cut short. Nor is it fair that this little guy has more Doctors than I can count and has been poked and prodded more times than any baby should have to endure. And then I remember that instead of thinking this way I need to be thankful that he is here. He may not be as healthy as we wish but he is here and happy thanks to parents who love him so much and have willing traded so much in their lives to make his life the best it can be. To everyone with children, we can only begin to imagine what this feels like. But I have tons of respect for his Mom's tireless effort to find a diagnosis and courage to wake up every morning and start it all again. I am thankful for all the lessons he came here to teach and most of all I am happy that he is growing and thriving. And even though not having a diagnosis is driving us crazy :) it's better than having a diagnosis that would be hard to accept. Such a little package but so full of inspiration.
The next thing that comes to mind is another special person who has lived most of their life dealing with various medical issues. Most people that have met this person never even knew they were sick, and are surprised to learn about it. I think to myself how can I be so selfish to complain about little things when they absolutely never complain. Even more than that they face every battle with courage and never put them self first when they should be thinking of them self. They spend more time worrying about others than them self and would do absolutely anything for a friend. Knowing that their my life may be cut short they have always lived their life to the fullest, with smile on their face, never complaining, whining, or full of self pity. If only we could all be that selfless and strong.
And last, but definitely not least, is my Dad. I never would of imagined that last Christmas would be my last with him. And although this is the hardest one to accept, because I wish it never happened the way it did, I must remember to just enjoy everyday and everyone. Don't sweat the small stuff and make the most of everyday. I often find myself looking forward to next week, or next month, instead of today. This is something I am trying to not do anymore. I will never rush through life again because it is unpredictable.

So if you ask me what I want for Christmas I can honestly say all I want is Health and Happiness for everyone.
It's unfortunate that these things have to happen to remind us how fortunate we are, but I guess this is why God puts special people in our lives.

1 comment:

CoRi said...

Renita, this is a really great blog. I'll never forget at your dad's beautiful memorial, sweet Daphne with her little belly saying that your dad always told you girls "Don't sweat the small stuff". What a great attitude to pass along to your kids.